[ sorry chie, yosuke takes a few hours himself to answer because he’s frustrated at the stalling. he left his phone at home and decided to take a walk between parts 1 and 2. eventually he does answer. ]
I guess it’s good you realized you weren’t fair to me sometimes, but it sounds like you still don’t trust me. I don’t know how to answer this.
This doesn’t sound like you’re sorry for what you’ve said and did. It’s good to know why, but it means nothing if you’re not actually sorry for it. Just sounds a lot like what you’ve been saying during your walls of text, that it’s all how your brain is broken or whatever. You’re placing the blame on your issues, on other things. I mean, you’ve just been getting defensive instead of just... doing what you say you’re gonna do.
Are you actually sorry for what you said to me on the beach? For making me question our friendship that I thought was strong this whole time? For.
For anything?
[ a sigh and then: ]
For the record, I don’t know what you’re talking about, I never deliberately ignored you and I didn’t choose Saki over you. I just connected with her a bit better, we were dealing with the same stuff. If I made it seem that way I’m sorry, I never intended to.
[There's the '...' of typing in reply almost immediately... but then no actual reply. The dots go away almost immediately.
There's probably at least an hour before he does get a reply during which she certainly does not flail at Hifumi oh wait yes she does please thank Hifumi for whatever coherency this will have.
When he does get a reply it's three messages right on top of each other.]
Of course I'm sorry about what I said on the beach!!! I said the worst thing I could to you of course I'm sorry!!! And before that I hurt you to make myself feel less terrible when you didn't deserve it!!!
But you said you didn't want me to apologize unless I explained and then when I explained you said I wasn't apologizing so I'm not sure what you want from me???
I told you the stuff about the doctor and my brain and bad patterns because I don't want to do that stuff again and knowing what I'm doing is the first step to learning how not to do it???
[ the reply is actually almost immediate, because while it took some time for him to figure out exactly what it is he wanted to hear, he also realized exactly why her explanations didn't feel like explanations to him. ]
because you said i had to let you explain first but then you started stalling, it's in your first text chie. because that isn't the apology or the explanation i was looking for. i wanted to know why you thought i wasn't your friend, or that i only acted friendly when i was bored and not with saki. why you even felt the need to bring saki into this when she's been dead for over a year and what she even has to do with this. you didn't even tell me how i had been ignoring you because i haven't. apparently i ignored you deliberately the "first time" you kicked me? what, you get to decide what i was doing? i have no idea what you're talking about and how any of that makes me believe you're at all sorry for what you did and said to me.
[ she did say she was sorry now for what she said on the beach, he can acknowledge that. but it felt so hollow now with all that stuff she said before. ]
i don't want to hear how sorry you are for having mental issues. that's all you've been doing. you're telling me you're sorry for being an angry and spiteful person, because you have these... these issues or whatever? because you wanted to feel less terrible so you took it out on me?
that you placed this expectation on me and i disappointed you? well whoop-de-friggin-do Chie, i'm always a disappointment. thank you for reminding me.
yeah, sure, you say you're sorry for hurting me physically and for what you said, but you have been telling me since the very beginning of the this text chain that it's all because of your issues and what some doctor is telling you?
like
[ the audio comes on, because he needs her to understand how serious he's being, text just doesn't convey that and he feels like they're just going in circles. his voice is quiet and shaking as he takes a careful breath. ]
...look.
Chie I don't care about what your doctor is telling you or what your bad patterns are or whatever.
All I care about is that you actually believe I'm your friend, that you don't believe I'm only friendly to you when I want something out of it. Nowhere in your gigantic novel of texts did you say "I'm sorry for hurting your feelings and making you feel like we aren't friends."
[ his voice breaks a little here and there's a slight sniffle and the sound of cloth swiping over his face. ]
You haven't even reassured me that we're still friends.
[ he takes a deep breath, cursing slightly because dammit, he was trying to not get so emotional but whoops, that failed. he cuts the audio. ]
no subject
I guess it’s good you realized you weren’t fair to me sometimes, but it sounds like you still don’t trust me. I don’t know how to answer this.
This doesn’t sound like you’re sorry for what you’ve said and did. It’s good to know why, but it means nothing if you’re not actually sorry for it. Just sounds a lot like what you’ve been saying during your walls of text, that it’s all how your brain is broken or whatever. You’re placing the blame on your issues, on other things. I mean, you’ve just been getting defensive instead of just... doing what you say you’re gonna do.
Are you actually sorry for what you said to me on the beach? For making me question our friendship that I thought was strong this whole time? For.
For anything?
[ a sigh and then: ]
For the record, I don’t know what you’re talking about, I never deliberately ignored you and I didn’t choose Saki over you. I just connected with her a bit better, we were dealing with the same stuff. If I made it seem that way I’m sorry, I never intended to.
no subject
There's probably at least an hour before he does get a reply
during which she certainly does not flail at Hifumi oh wait yes she does please thank Hifumi for whatever coherency this will have.When he does get a reply it's three messages right on top of each other.]
Of course I'm sorry about what I said on the beach!!! I said the worst thing I could to you of course I'm sorry!!! And before that I hurt you to make myself feel less terrible when you didn't deserve it!!!
But you said you didn't want me to apologize unless I explained and then when I explained you said I wasn't apologizing so I'm not sure what you want from me???
I told you the stuff about the doctor and my brain and bad patterns because I don't want to do that stuff again and knowing what I'm doing is the first step to learning how not to do it???
[And that's it.]
no subject
because you said i had to let you explain first but then you started stalling, it's in your first text chie. because that isn't the apology or the explanation i was looking for. i wanted to know why you thought i wasn't your friend, or that i only acted friendly when i was bored and not with saki. why you even felt the need to bring saki into this when she's been dead for over a year and what she even has to do with this. you didn't even tell me how i had been ignoring you because i haven't. apparently i ignored you deliberately the "first time" you kicked me? what, you get to decide what i was doing? i have no idea what you're talking about and how any of that makes me believe you're at all sorry for what you did and said to me.
[ she did say she was sorry now for what she said on the beach, he can acknowledge that. but it felt so hollow now with all that stuff she said before. ]
i don't want to hear how sorry you are for having mental issues. that's all you've been doing. you're telling me you're sorry for being an angry and spiteful person, because you have these... these issues or whatever? because you wanted to feel less terrible so you took it out on me?
that you placed this expectation on me and i disappointed you? well whoop-de-friggin-do Chie, i'm always a disappointment. thank you for reminding me.
yeah, sure, you say you're sorry for hurting me physically and for what you said, but you have been telling me since the very beginning of the this text chain that it's all because of your issues and what some doctor is telling you?
like
[ the audio comes on, because he needs her to understand how serious he's being, text just doesn't convey that and he feels like they're just going in circles. his voice is quiet and shaking as he takes a careful breath. ]
...look.
Chie I don't care about what your doctor is telling you or what your bad patterns are or whatever.
All I care about is that you actually believe I'm your friend, that you don't believe I'm only friendly to you when I want something out of it. Nowhere in your gigantic novel of texts did you say "I'm sorry for hurting your feelings and making you feel like we aren't friends."
[ his voice breaks a little here and there's a slight sniffle and the sound of cloth swiping over his face. ]
You haven't even reassured me that we're still friends.
[ he takes a deep breath, cursing slightly because dammit, he was trying to not get so emotional but whoops, that failed. he cuts the audio. ]