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[Kise just smiles a bit-]

You already helped a lot. I'm just... [insceure, perhaps for the first time in his life. He's silent for a while, taking a few sips, before asking.]

So, how did you realize?

[ He also did realize that he may have seemed pushy in the text. What if he really didn't have a crush? But all the signs pointed to it... He sighed and leaned back in the chair. ]

Had a moment with a friend, realizing what it would have been like if I lost him. She... she lost the guy she loved and for some reason, my thoughts went to Souji.

[ His fork went into the crepe to poke at it for a bit. ]

It... It just sorta clicked, I guess? I never really told you this but he and I have been in a lot of life or death situations and I never felt like that before. I mean, I probably did in the moments but... I dunno, having that chance to sit and really think about it while comforting my big sis... [ He shrugged and his lips pursed in a terse smile. ] Kinda puts things into perspective, especially in a place like this when weird and even dangerous shit happens almost on a monthly basis.

[That... really does sound frightening. He never suspected that Yosuke went through something as dangerous as that, but put into situations like those, it makes you think, doesn't it? Murasakibara disappeared recently, perhaps back to their world (Kise hopes so), and he tries to put himself in situation where Midorima would be gone. Endangered. Hurt. The chill that runs down his back and twist in his stomach is entirely unpleasant and doesn't disappear even when he takes a sip of his drink again.]

But you didn't tell him yet because...?

Because the Souji that's rooming with me now isn't the same one that was here before December.

[ He chews on his lower lip a bit. ]

I know, it's... weird like, they were the same guy but there were... little things. He didn't remember certain people, we didn't have all the same memories. He was also very into a few girls and while he said he was bi, I'm pretty sure he preferred girls. So I just... kept it to myself and wanted him to be happy. Seemed like he was happier with them, so.

[ There was a bit more to it than that, like the distancing and stuff. But that was a lot more information that would require even more explanation and it wasn't something he wanted to talk about again at this time. ]

Then, a couple weeks after those kidnappings, he disappeared. So I never got to tell him even if I'd wanted to.

[There's a twist in his gut at that explanation. Different people, disappearances, those kidnappings... Kise's heard of it, of course, but he had no means to fight it. Any of it. He's just, well, an ordinary human that plays basketball. It's scary thought...

He sighs, biting his lip-]

Compared to yours, my reasoning sounds stupid, hah.

[But despite him acknowledging that he can still feel the reluctance in himself to go out and say it to Midorima, regardless of what happened between them during the triple moon.]

Nah, it's just different. If Souji never came back or he never left, I wouldn't have ever told him. I wasn't going to even after I realized this Souji, the one with me now, is the one I remember.

[ He leaned his cheek in his hand, he gave Kise a small smile. ]

But then a friend encouraged me anyway.

I see.

[Or, at least, he's trying to see. Yosuke's situation sounds way more serious than his own and honestly, Kise doesn't know what he would do if he was in his place. His fingers tap against the cup and his gaze looks a bit distant before he speaks again.]

I'm... not good with relationships. [He bites the inside of his cheek at that-] All the girls, and some guys, back home, usually came after me for my looks. Or because of my part-time job and place on the basketball team. I was pretty popular, so it's "comes with the title" kind of thing. It's just... it still stings, when the person who says is your girlfriend and you're dating suddenly up and leaves for your rival just because you lost a single one-on-one mini-match.

[He shakes his head-] Midorimacchi isn't like that though, I didn't even think about him that way... but it still feels like something... impossible. Especially since he's already seeing some people.

[ Yosuke listened, smile falling a bit at what he heard. At least the girls rejected him to his face, having them lead him on only to dump him would have been hard to deal with. There was also the fact that it looked Midorima had multiple partners and Yosuke sighed as he considered his next words.

He couldn’t just blurt things out, not now. Not when he actually had a chance to think about it. ]

Confession aside, you think you could talk to him about that? Maybe it’ll help you figure out how he feels about this too. Would you be okay if he saw other people as well as you? That might be something to consider before telling him too.

I mean, [Kise leans back in his chair, slumping a bit,] it would be selfish to ask for anything exclusive in this place, right? What with these random transformations and moon blessings. We had a brief chat about that and agreed not to come in each other's ways when it comes to other people, like, not interfere, whether it's brief meetups or anything else.

[Ugh, how did he get to this place, like this!?]

This place makes everything so complicated; as if managing relationships isn't bad as it is, [he groaned. All Kise wanted was to befriend Midorima and it backfired in such way it made him dizzy.]

I mean, if you both agreed it wouldn’t be so selfish. Honestly, I thought the same for awhile but... well, I met some good people too. So, it’s a conversation I’ll need to have too.

[ He wanted to have an exclusive relationship, but that would hurt people’s feelings if he just up and stopped seeing them and honestly, it would hurt him a little too. ]

Relationships aren’t so bad, but they’re hard. They’re complicated on their own without this place messing with them but that’s where talking about it is going to help, I think. Maybe you can find a way around it like... I dunno, be boyfriends but also have an open relationship for other things.

[ He scratched the back of his head with a sigh. This was definitely not his area of expertise. But it’s what he’s learned from observing others. ]

Sorry, I don’t think I’m helping at all.

[Kise laughs,] I doubt Midorimacchi needs or wants a third relationship. Besides, it's just a crush, right? I-It might just, you know, pass. Who knows.

[Not Kise's area of expertise either.]

Nah, it's fine, really. I asked on the network about opinions on this and all of them seem to say the same, which both makes sense and doesn't help, haha.

Well, I guess it wouldn’t hurt to wait it out but... you should probably still talk about the whole... sleeping together and stuff. Not like you can guarantee it won’t happen again.

[ He remembered that post and snorted a small laugh. ]

Kise, seems like it’s only been unhelpful because you haven’t actually tried it yet. I know it’s scary and like... I still get nervous when I need to have a conversation with someone about this kinda thing but... it’s either that or risk getting hurt.

[Kise feels like pulling his hair out- but then remembers he has to work and needs his hair to look presentable. Goddamit.]

...this kind of thing would be called "friends with benefits" back home, wouldn't it? To think it happened with Midorimacchi of all people... not that he's bad looking or anything. He's just, well, very proper. Poker face. Tsundere. [Pot and kettle.]

Well, I'm not dating so it's not a trouble for me. I was worried about him. I will have to tell the other person about it if I do end up with someone else, huh? This is so complicated to navigate...

Friends with benefits is one of them, yeah. Open relationship is another, I guess.

[ Honestly, a lot of people surprised him with this whole thing too. ]

There’s also people who want to be polyamorous. Like, actively dating more than one person and everyone is aware and stuff. That’s actually where I kind of draw the line myself. I have people who I’ve... been with, but aside from maybe hanging out with them at other times we don’t really date or have a relationship like the kind I want with Souji and I’m okay with that but just gotta make sure Souji is too.

[ Sigh. Big sigh, big mood. ]

Tell me about it, I’m still navigating being bi.

Edited 2020-01-29 15:12 (UTC)

Open relationship huh? I heard a lot of that word too, it seems to apply to this place the most. It sounds like a tabboo back in Japan. "Hey we are in open relationship, it's all good", "So what you're saying you gave him green light to sleep around?" That sort of thing.

[Kise takes another sip of his drink before it gets cold.]

Being bi is not that bad. Just think "wow, I can date ANYONE I want".

I think it's how a lot of people seem to cope since I'm pretty confident a majority of people don't want to cheat on their loved ones, you know? It's for sure taboo in Japan though, I think it kind of is in a lot of places although I'm sure it varies.

[ Japan is pretty conservative, after all. ]

See, I could do that but then I'm stuck on seeing people like you and going "Okay is he hot because I'm attracted to him" or "Is he hot because he's hot."

You have no right being as pretty as you are, I'm just sayin'.

Yeah, that's why I was worried in the first place. [He doesn't want people to come after him... he's not equipped to handle jealous boyfriends/girlfriends. He's sure that 90% of moonblessed here are ten times stronger than him with or without moon influence.

Kise laughs and gives Yosuke a wink,] Perhaps it's both? It's good if it's both~

[He dramatically flicks his own hair] Why thank you, Yosukecchi, I always try my best to stay in top form~ And you're not bad looking yourself!

Should you really be saying it’s both when we’re talking about handling relationships with more than one person?

[ He doesn’t want to rain on Kise’s parade but self-deprecation is too easy for Yosuke to fall back on. Honestly, Yosuke is just proud he can say that without blushing like crazy, although his cheeks do go a bit pink at the praise. ]

Yeah, right, I’m not. But thanks anyway.

[ He knows he’s not bad looking, but he hardly thinks of himself as pretty or handsome. ]

I know, I know. I'm just trying to stay positive.

[A little pink on Yosuke's face suits him just well, and it makes Kise grin in return.]

Don't sell yourself so short. I wish my hair was fluffy like that, I'd win all the commercial auditions!

[He's not joking, they spend at least thirty minutes trying to fluff up his hair so it looks all wavy.]

And your smile is pretty! Confidence, confidence!

[ He snorted softly, taking a bite of his crepe to give him a moment to think of answer to that. He absently checked his phone for the weather too as he chewed and was relieved to know that it’d stay like this for the rest of the day. ]

Trust me dude, having hair like this is a pain. It doesn’t cooperate.

[ It’s been better now that he stopped dying it so it’s been healing from the chemicals, but still. His blush deepened. ]

Yeah. Confidence... [ That he doesn’t always have. ]

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